DISCONNECTED CONNECTION

It’s amazing isn’t it? At the touch of a button we can instantly (and constantly) be connected to hundreds, maybe thousands of people simultaneously. We can like, share, and comment on information from people from miles and miles away, most of whom we have never met. We can learn from teachers at institutions across the country, we can network with people across the globe, we can stay in touch with friends and relatives we don’t see very often…

All this connection, all the time…yet we are more disconnected than we likely have ever been.

In the modern era of communication, everything is virtual or e-communication. An email or text message in place of a letter, a voice mail instead of a conversation, zoom meetings instead of physical meetings.

So much is lost in the constant use of e-communication. Tone, body language, non-verbal cues, intention, and emotion are all missing in this type of communication. Hence the disconnect. Too often when we write or respond to these messages, we are not present in the moment of the communication, so we passively participate in them. In other words, when you are face to face or in the same room or on the phone, that is your primary focus. Your brain zeroes in on the communication task at hand and you are actively present for it.

This is not always the case for emails, texts, or social media posts/comments. You can aimlessly scroll social media while doing any number of other tasks or you can hurry through your emails and texts just to mark them “read”, and maybe you won’t respond at all. It’s easy to ignore a text or an email…but would you ignore that person if they were standing next to you? On the phone? Probably not. And let’s not forget all those zoom meetings you “attend” with your camera off and your mic muted so you can multi-task…did you know that your brain can’t multi-task? Your attention will be devoted to the task you give the most attention. You might think you are doing multiple things at once, but really you are actively doing one thing, and everything else is background noise.

While tools like zoom, smart phones, and social media are ridiculously convenient and allow us to work more efficiently and from anywhere we choose (I work remotely and am absolutely grateful for the technology that allows me to work from where I am), they take away a prime element of communication that is so important: physical connection.

Before the internet was a household staple and smart phones controlled our lives, people had to actually talk to each other to connect. We had to physically interact with others in order to communicate and connect. Before you say “but they wrote letters…” let me stop you. They DID write letters…WRITE, with a pen, on paper, a physical paper…guess what, that is a physical connection.

Physical connection in this regard is defined as sharing the task of communicating. Let me explain.

When you speak to someone on the phone, you both participate physically in the act of communicating (picking up the phone, holding it, speaking into it, listening to the other person, having a real-time conversation). This creates a physical connection. When you write a letter, you connect to the paper via the pen and the receiving party connects to the paper through your words. In-person meetings require all parties to be in the same physical location. Let’s be real, if you are attending a meeting in person, you are not going to attempt to multi-task (remember, you can’t really do that anyway). You will be focused on the meeting and the information being exchanged. You *might even participate in the meeting! (Gasp…!) Zoom meetings can allow for a low level of physical connection so long as the cameras are turned on so people can see you and you can see them!

In some form or fashion, all of these require the same or similar physical actions for all parties to participate in the communication exchange, sometimes simultaneously. While texting and email allow us to communicate at our own convenience, the real-time exchange of information via physical means can allow us to create better connection through communication.

I hope this post has helped you understand the importance of true connection with people. Take the time and make the effort to meet people in person whenever you can. Send a hand-written thank you note to your new client, write a letter to an old friend or distant relative, go out for coffee with your significant others…make connections!

I want to challenge you to get back to basics and incorporate physical communicating into your life. Regardless of what happens with the internet (remember that day social media died for like 3 hours and everyone thought the world was ending…), you will ALWAYS have the ability to look someone in the eyes, face to face or write them a handwritten note. Find ways to share the task of communicating so that you can create truer, deeper connections with people.

I want to connect with you! Ironically, it will have to be on a zoom call – cameras ON of course (unless you are in the greater Portland area and we can meet for coffee 😉)!

I want to learn about your communication process and help you build better connections through communication. Click HERE to book your FREE discovery call so we can get to know each other!

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao for now!