Ditch the Perfection Trap
Perfection is an alluring (yet, completely unattainable) goal. The idea of delivering a flawless speech, where every word lands perfectly and every gesture is just right, can feel like the ultimate achievement. But the pursuit of perfection often creates more anxiety than confidence, and it can distance you from the very people you’re trying to reach: your audience.
In my own journey, I’ve found that audiences don’t connect with perfection; they connect with authenticity. They’re not looking for a perfect performance—they’re looking for someone who feels real, relatable, and human. Let’s explore why authenticity matters so much in public speaking and how letting go of perfection can transform your speaking experience.
When we strive too hard for perfection, we set ourselves up for frustration. Don’t get me wrong, you should certainly strive for excellence but know the difference between it and perfection. When you focus only on perfection, even the smallest stumble can feel like failure. A missed word or an unexpected pause can feel catastrophic. But these moments of imperfection are often the very moments that make us relatable.
Think about a time when you witnessed someone stumble during a speech. How did they recover? Did they laugh at themselves, take a deep breath, or acknowledge the moment with grace? Chances are that those moments didn’t diminish the speech—they made it more memorable, more human.
I had an experience in college where I applied and was accepted to perform at a masterclass. As a music major (clarinet player for those new to my audience), it was expected and encouraged to participate in conferences and masterclasses. A masterclass is when a professional musician is brought in (in this case it was performer and clarinet instructor from Julliard) to listen to and critique other musicians on their performance.
I had been playing music for over 17 years at this point and had soloed many times over those years. I felt prepared but I was definitely nervous (hello perfectionist thoughts and limiting beliefs…). My turn came and I took the stage. My nerves settled down and things were going well…until they weren’t. Long story short, I had an issue with my instrument that I could not resolve. I tried a few times to keep playing but between that issue and my now threatcon-level-4 nerves, it was over.
I was embarrassed, frustrated, disappointed, you name it, I was feeling it. But then something happened – the pro that was there looked at me said, “It happens, but let’s talk about what you were able to accomplish before that.” And then we talked about the part of my piece that I was able to play before the instrument issue and we talked about how my nerves may have affected me and how I could overcome them.
While the performance didn’t go exactly as planned, and I would definitely put that experience in my top 5 least favorite musical memories, I learned a valuable lesson that day: excellence is a product of effort. You won’t get it right every time, sometimes outside forces will interfere, and sometimes you may falter completely, but your continual effort, despite, your fear of failure is what will get you where you want to go.
Soloing like I did that day takes an immense amount of courage, a willingness to be vulnerable in front of complete strangers, and trust in yourself to know that even if things don’t go how you want them to, you’re still worthy of the stage and of the experience.
Vulnerability is the key component in authenticity. I know “authenticity” is the latest and greatest buzzword, but that is for good reason. There is a lot of information out there in the world. How is anyone supposed to know what to believe or find someone they can relate to unless we put our authentic selves out there.
When you’re willing to share your real experiences, emotions, and even your imperfections, you create space for your audience to connect with you, and with themselves. Vulnerability shows strength, not weakness. It tells your audience, “I’m not perfect, and that’s okay—you don’t have to be perfect either.”
Some of the most impactful speeches I’ve heard were not delivered flawlessly. They were raw, honest, and filled with the speaker’s humanity. Those speakers weren’t afraid to share their struggles, admit their fears, or tell stories that exposed their imperfections. It’s in those moments of honesty that audiences are moved and inspired.
True authenticity requires us to let go of the script many of us have been prescribed. Some of us are prescribed religious beliefs, societal expectations, or family pressures that skew our vision of what our life could, should, or would look like. The same goes for our ideals of what “good” speakers look and sound like.
For many speakers, the idea of falling short of or stepping away from the script feels terrifying. What if your mind goes blank? What if you forget something important? What if your energy isn’t as bright and loud as the speaker before you? What if your voice is too soft or your message seemingly not powerful enough?
Speaking authentically means trusting yourself and the connection you have with your audience. It means leaning into your unique traits and stories. Speaking authentically is preparing yourself for what you need to say and then allowing space for spontaneity and responding to the energy in the room. You are not a robot, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to speak like one.
This doesn’t mean you should abandon your preparation. Preparation is the most essential part of becoming a confident speaker, but you should focus on being prepared to adapt rather than to recite. Your audience will forgive (and likely won’t even notice) a missed word or a slightly different phrasing. People won’t even remember most of what you say. But what they won’t forget is how you made them feel.
To embrace authenticity, start by acknowledging your fear of imperfection (or as most of us call it: failure). I invite you to look deeper into why you think you need to be perfect. That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself for something that is, in fact, not possible!
It’s okay to feel nervous about stepping away from perfectionism in speaking—most of us do. We want to say the perfect words and have the biggest impact. I promise you; your message will still land if you trust yourself to deliver it in the way that only you can. Your audience wants to see and hear you, not an idealized version of you.
Practice letting go of your unreasonable expectations of perfection by incorporating moments of imperfection into your preparation. Allow yourself to experiment, to stumble, and to recover. Over time, you’ll find that those imperfections are not obstacles—they’re bridges that bring you closer to your audience.
Success in public speaking isn’t about delivering a perfect performance. It’s about making an impact. It’s about leaving your audience with a feeling, a thought, or a call to action that lingers long after your words have faded.
Ditch the perfection trap. Step onto the stage as your authentic self, imperfections and all – Be the speaker you are RIGHT NOW and grow into the speaker to want to be. Your audience doesn’t need you to be perfect—they need you to be real.
I invite you to reflect on your own speaking journey, whether you are just starting out or are a seasoned speaker. Where have you been chasing perfection, how is it holding you back, and how can you begin to let it go?
If you’re ready to explore how authenticity, vulnerability, and belief in yourself can elevate your speaking skills, let’s connect. Book a FREE discovery call with me, and together, we’ll uncover the power of your authentic voice.
Until next time,
Ciao for now!