EMOTIONS AND COMMUNICATION

Emotions are key players in almost everything we do. Fear, excitement, anger, and pride are just a few of the emotions that influence our behavior on a regular basis. The way you communicate is no exception to the impact of your emotions. As a business professional or someone in leadership, you need to become an expert at using and controlling your emotions. 

If you check out any recent articles about leadership, professionalism, or business in general, you will likely come across the term “emotional intelligence”. It might be the latest buzzword in the business world, but emotional intelligence is something that is important for your success.

But what is emotional intelligence? Loosely defined, emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, interpret, and control emotions. Now, I don’t like the term “emotional intelligence”. It makes it sound like you can learn what you need to know about emotions in a book and that’s it. I prefer the term “emotional aptitude” because all of us have some level of ability to perceive, manage, and control emotions. 

Controlling emotions is a vital component of communication. If you get too emotional, or not emotional enough when communicating, you won’t get the desired result. There is a delicate balance between logic and emotion that will help you get the response you want when you communicate. The hard part is that that balance is always changing. 

Several factors determine the level of emotional influence you should allow into any communication exchange. Audience, context, content, venue, and medium all play a part in the level of emotion you need to use when communicating. 

Now, depending on the kind of business you are in, you will need a higher or lower level of emotion. In his book Think Again, Adam Grant said “If you’re a real estate agent, customer service rep, or counselor, being skilled at perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions can help you support your client and address their problems.” He goes on to discuss how more technical positions like a mechanic or accountant may not need such high levels of emotional intelligence. In fact, these professionals might even be more successful without much emotional intelligence. I mean, would you really want your mechanic to be focused on interpreting your emotions? No, you want them to fix your car as quickly and efficiently as possible! (Adam Grant, Think Again, page 176).

If you are in one of those technical jobs, you probably don’t need to focus much on your emotional aptitude. Afterall, motors and numbers don’t require emotion to understand them. However, if you are in a position where you work directly with people, especially in industries that deal with money or big decisions (hello mortgage pros and realtors, looking at you especially 😉), you need to make sure your emotional aptitude is at the level required to serve your clients.

Today I am going to share with you 6 ways you can improve your emotional intelligence so you can be a better leader, professional, and communicator!

1. Learn how to be brief – say what you need to say and leave space for people to respond to you. If you are addressing an issue, don’t dance around it. Tackle it head-on and then invite a response from the other party. 
2. Listen and reflect – let your responses be conversation starters. When you respond to an issue or concern that someone brings to your attention, don’t shut them down. Respond in a way that invites them into the conversation so that a mutually beneficial solution can be reached.
3. Be more informed – Often we respond to something based on pure emotion because we don’t know or understand all the facts around it. When you are more informed, it is easier to be less emotional. 
4. Think first, then speak. Do not just blurt out your first knee-jerk response. Sometimes the wise move is to keep your mouth shut. Even if it is just a for a minute so you can craft a well-thought response.
5. Work on your empathy skills – strive to understand where the other person is coming from. How would you feel in their position? If someone comes to you with an issue, there is a reason for them feeling the way they do. You should do your very best to not minimize their feelings, rather you should validate the way they are feeling and let them open up to you about how and why they are feeling that way. Maybe a new process isn’t working as expected or maybe there is improvement to be made in the level of communication from all levels. Whatever the concern or idea is, be open-minded meet the other person on their level.
6. Keep an open mind and an open door – If you are leader, you MUST make yourself available to your subordinates. You should regularly invite your team members to ask questions or provide feedback so that you can serve them better.

It’s important to remember that learning to be a better communicator, leader, or professional is a long-term process. You won’t get it right every time and it’s okay to feel nervous or on edge. That means you care, that means you will put in the effort to be and do better. For more on why emotional intelligence is critical to your success, check out this article from Forbes!

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Ciao for now!