WHAT’S IN A WORD?

Have you ever been in one those situations where you later realized that you could have had a much better result if you had used different words? I know I have. I would bet that most of us have been in a situation like that. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are trying to achieve that we just bulldoze our way into it without thinking about how to most effectively get there.

This post will shed a little light on how using the right words may help lead you to clearer communication and greater success not just in business, but in everyday life!

Back to bulldozing our way to an objective. Let’s say you need some documentation from someone, perhaps a signed contract or a copy of an invoice. Let’s also say you need said documentation yesterday, so it is urgent that you receive it as soon as possible. In this digital age, you might type up an email as your first method of obtaining the information. Email is terrific because it allows you the time to think about what you want to say, write it, and then erase it and replace it if you need to. Phone calls don’t let you do this…more about that in a minute. 

You are now frantically typing that email to the person from whom you need to obtain the documentation and you are at a crossroads. What should you say? How should you say it? What words should you use to get the quickest response?

These are all valid questions, and ones I run into on a daily basis. Let me give you two examples of what you could say, and which one will yield the best result.

Example 1: Hello! I need this document as soon as possible. Thanks.

Example 2: Hello! I apologize for the urgency. Could you please provide this document at your earliest convenience today. Thank you so much for your assistance!

In these examples, I requested the same thing in two completely different ways. Which one do you think would get the better response? Why?

Let me break it down: Example 1 is all about me and my needs with absolutely no regard as to how my needs are a burden to the other person. It is direct, demanding, and comes across in a negative way. It makes the recipient feel that there is an emergency when there isn’t one. Remember, things can be urgent without being emergent. 

Example 2 is different in so many ways. First, and most importantly, it is filled with humility and gratitude. Secondly, it is not in any way demanding but still conveys the urgent need for the requested information. It starts off with acknowledgement of the burden on the receiving party and then thanks them for their help.

If I got an email like example 1 (and I do, regularly), I would be annoyed with this person. I would be annoyed by their lack of preparation and then their expectation that I drop what I am doing to help them avert a crisis. On the flip side, when I get an email like example 2 (which I also get but not nearly as often as example 1…), I happily stop what I am doing and attend to the matter in the email because I can tell that the individual requesting help is truly grateful for the assistance, and they acknowledge the value of my time in their request.

Now, what if you needed to make a phone call instead of sending an email (I know, I know, this is an archaic method of communication that should never be heard of again, am I right?)? You would say the exact same thing! If it is someone you know well, start off your call with some chit chat or shoot the breeze for a minute. Then move on to the purpose of your call: “Hey, it’s so great to chat but I’m calling for some assistance. When you have a moment today, could you please send me this document. I just realized I need it and am so sorry to ask you for it at the last minute, but I really appreciate your help!”

I have said those exact words to clients and colleagues many times and guess what, I get what I need in a matter of minutes!

If I called them up and said “send me this document right now” do you think I would get anything? That’s a definite NO!

As I mentioned earlier, when making a phone call, you don’t have the ability to erase and replace what you have said with something more effective so when you are speaking to someone, or are about to speak to someone, know what you are going to say. Practice saying the words out loud so you know how they sound and how they feel. Imagine if someone was asking you what you are asking of the other person and how you would react and respond. It’s cliché but treat others as you wish to be treated really does apply here. Speak to others as you wish to be spoken to and you will see great success with your communication!

Want to learn more about becoming a confident communicator? Let’s chat! Click HERE to book a strategy session with me! 

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao for now!